Fete Deacon Chavdakid’s 10 Carnival Commandments

ONCE CARIBBEAN PEOPLE REACH IN YA FETE IS

NICENESSSSSSS

Hello Congregation! and I hope your 2020 has been blessed thus far .

It’s finally….

CARNIVAL SEASON 2020!

and I KNOW many of us have been waiting for this moment

I’m happy we’re back here again.

I actually haven’t been feteing for a long time as most folks have been.

However, when I started, I didn’t have anyone to tell me EXACTLY what I was getting into.

All I knew was……

  • Tons of Partying
  • Bumpa like rain
  • Rum muss Jink
  • and Soca is Life

You’d think that was all I needed to know right?

I went head first into this “fete life” like:

AND ended up making some HORRIBLE decisions/mistakes. Who knew that feteing actually had rules or at least guidelines that one should know.

So since I’ve learnt from my mistakes and I’m now a Qualified Fete and Bumpa Deacon, I’m here to share knowledge to the Congregation.

Fete Deacon Chavdakid’s 10 Carnival Commandments

10 Cruical Commandments to your Ultimate Carnival Experience

Lettuce Begin,

1) Thou Shalt Gather thy Fete Tickets Early

Now many of us have this bad tendency to wait till last minute then log on social media all frantic like:

ANYBODY SELLING LAST MINUTE TICKETS?!

WHERE CAN I GET TICKETS TO “XYZ” EVENT NOW?!

ARE THEY SELLING AT THE GATE?!

The best thing you can do is get your tickets early, ESPECIALLY if there’s an early bird special because most times

Now don’t start with the excuses “I was waiting for my friend” NAH

That same friend might be able to afford Regular Tickets meanwhile that extra $20 usd could buy you couple KFC meals

Worrying and waiting for friends in 2020 will have you missing EVERYTHING.

YOU BETTER GET YO ASS UP AND SECURE YOUR TICKETS EARLY.

2) Thou Shalt Research thy Carnival of Choice THOROUGHLY.

As my friend Sister Globes does say “Research is the name of the game”

There’s too many vlogs and blogs out here for you to not know what to expect at ANY Carnival you wish to go to.

All it takes is one google search to find out everything.

Here’s a few of my favs Carnivalists that could help you, as they’ve helped me.

also, whilst we’re here...

*breathes*

Guys, you cannot expect to go to St Lucia Carnival and ask why so much Lucian Music Playing…

Just like you can’t go to a Carnival and expect to hear, “Dung inna Dung inna, Dung inna ya neckback

I’m honestly tired of people going to a SOCA event and getting upset that “Too much” Soca is playing.

Likeeeee…

Get with the program b, At a Soca Event…you will hear SOCA.

Ok? Ok. Next Commandment..

3) Thou Shalt travel with Friends who can keepeth up with thee Life of Fete

Now this is VERY Ideal, YOU MUST know who you’re traveling with cause LEMME TELL YOU.

I’ve heard some horror stories….

Ya travel with a friend who’s been HYPE for carnival ….

You already know YOU about that life! Cause, WHEN YOU FETE YOU FETE

You’re up for the Breakfast Fete or Jouvert in the Morning, Get Home, Nap, Wake up and ready to Fete again round 5pm

Meanwhile your friend is dead and miserable for a day and a half, wasting their already paid for fete tickets cause they need to “recover” , completely cramping your style and internally you’re just like:

I mean this never happened to me but YOU DOH WANT IT HAPPEN TO YOU EITHER.

Cause for me…. who already paid my Caucasian dollars for these fete tickets ?

WITH OR WITHOUT YOU.

Me:

Carnival is about Positive Vibes ONLY, you don’t need that negative vibes in ya life before a fete!

Travel with like minded folks who ready to FETE or just go by yourself friend.

4) “Thou aren’t here to babysit thy drunk ass, Pace-eth Thyself.”

Yes, we all like to turn up and yes you wanna “Drink ah rum and live meh life” but KNOW YOUR LIMIT.

Doh bother run to the bar and take shots till yain even know ya name.

ALSO, MIXING DRINKS AINT ADVISED.

If you’re into sleeping by the toilet or not having ya good Fete memories, then please go right ahead my friend, Play Mixologist.

However, if you just so happen to appreciate your memories and even your stomach, DO NOT MIX YOUR ALCOHOL.

Trust me, Waking up like this

….isn’t fun.

Especially if you have more than one fete in the day, PACE. YA. SELF.

We all got that one drink we like to drink and goes well with us, STICK WITH IT.

and…. If you know you’re a light weight, PLEASE do not visit the bar every other second trying to keep up with the professional rum drinkers you call friends..

and if you plan to do so, drink water or some sort of club soda/ginger ale or coconut water in between, TRUST ME it’ll help.

THERE IS NOTHING MORE ANNOYING THAN HAVING TO BABYSIT A GROWN ADULT.

SO PACE YOURSELF AND KNOW YOUR LIMITS.

5)   Thou shalt clothed thyself accordingly

AGAIN, research is very important.

One should ALWAYS know the type of fete you’re going to and what outfit is mostly required or what the location looks like so you know what to wear.

Always Research the type of fete and the location.

For instance Heels at a beach located event, walking in the sand like:

Listen…

PLEASE, do NOT.

Lastly,

HOW CAN YOU COME TO A WET FETE AND DON’T EXPECT FOR YOU TO GET WET?!

Then end up looking like:

Take ya time and Research then plan ya outfit.

6)  Thou shalt knoweth how to Wukketh/Wineth and Pelteth thy Waist

Saints..

Brothers in Fete, If you know in your heart that you cannot tell your left from your right and your waist is stuck in Dagger out Soul Mode.

Please…

Leave the People Children alone.

One must know time and place, fi thee type of waist.

– Deacon Chav

My Sisters in Fete, If you know…you use your back to dance…

For example…

It’s time to Get thy waistline in order!

You know how you gotta turn a jar a cover couple times before it can finally loosen and open ? That’s ya waist right there.

PRACTICE. PRACTICE PRACTICE.

Lemme tell yall, this used to be me.

But I decided nobody go shame me up so the mirror and youtube/IG videos became my best friend! I may not have a “White Chocolate” waist yet BUT Big Daddy C still aint no joke!

It’s me, I’m big daddy C

Soon as I get couple classes from my Sister Royal G , its OVER FOR YALL.

ALSO! to my fellas,

Please note consent is KEY, A no is a NO.

I know its embarassing to go try cop a wine under a bumpa and she turn around like

Just Take ya L and find another bumpa to jam.

Cause you will get embarrassed when their friend spots them reaching for help and comes at you like:

Be respectful at all times bro and DON’T OVERSTEP.

7) Thou shalt ALWAYS haveth thy Bex Money

You never know what may happen during or after a fete.

Your taxi could be a no show or your friend might want to leave with people man/woman before you’re ready to leave.. you just never know!

You gun let that stress you out and ruin ya fete?!

Having money on you is always essential.

Now I’m not saying walk with ya whole rubber band filled wad of cash everywhere ya go because we know that may not be safe.

….but just at least $20-100 would suffice quite fine.

Also helps to research type of currency in that country and change to that at the airport.

Always be prepared for anything.

8) THOU SHALT MINDETH THY OWN BUSINESS

You gonna see alot of things at a fete.

Especially folks significant others dancing or involving themselves with someone other than theirs.

However in the words of Deacon Fimba…

MIND THY FUNKY BUSINESS, JUST LEAVE THEE ALONE

– Deacon Fimba

DO NOT go spreading rumors off assumptions because sometimes it just may be a dance.

Its Carnival baby! Dance on who ya wanttttt.

Unless the business aint concerning you, this should be you:

Drink ya drink, Wuk ya waist and Mind yuh FUNKY business.

Cyar say me nah warn you.

9) THOU SHALT STICK WITHIN THY BUDGET

Listen, Doing ONLY 1 fete a day will not kill you.

If you can’t afford it, you can’t afford it.

Remember you have a life after Carnival, don’t go broke trying to prove a point.

Carnival hopping is NOT cheap and not everyone can afford to go to 2-3 fetes a day and THAT’S OKAY!

Research the fetes and make ya decision, find out which is the CAN’T MISS to the ones that can be experienced a next time and make ya decision from there.

Also… this may be a tough pill to swallow but Imma say it anyway.

Sometimes, you may have to pick 1 …

FETES or MAS

I know, it sounds crazy cause both is LIFE but honestly think about it, it makes sense.

I’ve been to Trinidad Carnival 3 times, the first two times I did Fetes alone and on Mas days I went touring around the island, FAR AWAY from Mas and I was quite okay.

I waited till I could afford both, to do both and I had a TIME when I was able to do so!

I also know of folks who fly in the Weekend, do 1 or 2 fetes and have the full MAS Experience, it all comes down to your personal preference and your pocket.

You may have to cut ya days down and spend less to experience more.

Just don’t, go broke just to stunt on IG or keep up with ya friends with big wallets just to say you a “Feter”, anybody who pressure you to spend outside what you got aint ya friend.

It’s YOUR experience, make the best of it with what you have.

10) THOU SHALT MISBEHAVE!

You pay WAYYYYYY to much money to be caring who’s watching you get on Bad.

IF YOU FEEL LIKE YOU WANNA CLIMB UP ON STAGE AND SPLIT IN DI MIDDLE, DO THE DAMN TING.

ME FROM THE CROWD:

I’m sorry but I have NO APOLOGY, FOR MY BEHAVIOR, NONE WHATSOEVER

and …. Neither should you, live ya best Carnival hoe life.

You DESERVE!

Got it?

I hope you guys enjoyed and learned something you probably didn’t know already.

Honor these 10 Carnival Commandments and I can ensure you the Best Carnival Experience of your LIFE.

Your fav bad Influence

– Chavdakid

5 thoughts on “Fete Deacon Chavdakid’s 10 Carnival Commandments

  1. Finished reading and thought “This is the word of the Dakid”. Then I heard the congregation in my head respond saying “Thanks be to Chav” LOL. Good stuff

    Like

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